Graphs Will Make You Laugh

Bitches ain’t shit, but hoes and tricks.

Subscribe to this blog's RSS feed

Two new articles from me this week:

Associated Content >> What It’s like to Stutter

This is actually really personal, about “what it’s like to stutter,” and how I’ve g-g-g-otten by. The response has been so positive I’m wondering if just spilling my guts and standing ass-naked to the world is the only way to write.

  

Nexterday News >> November 2nd, 2085 - Groundbreaking Inter-species Contract Signed

Deer and man enter into an agreement: we’ll stop the hunting if they stop hitting our cars. Is it really that easy? Something tells me there might be more to this story from 2085 than what they’re telling us here in 2008.

And then, there’s my del.icio.us links:

10 Reasons I’d Rather Marry a Robot

John Connor better read this if I ever write my creepy fan fic.

  

China ‘will stop the rain’ for Olympics

Weather manipulation? That’s scary.

  

Pictures From Mercury Surprise Scientists - washingtonpost.com

One day I hope to vacation on Mercury and go cliff diving on their large cliffs.

  

Extinct Animals, From an Elephant Bird to a 10-Foot-Long, Four-Eyed Spider

The best are #2 and #7. I’m glad I’m not 290 million years old, else I’d be crazy from trying to avoid those things.

  

‘Last’ man creates different world on ‘Lost’ - CNN.com

If a magic genie (as opposed to the regular kind) came up to me and said, “Hey, Adam, switch careers with this guy,” I’d say “well, allright,” and cry myself to sleep in happiness every night.

  

EBay Lowers Listing Fees & Increases Commission to Boost Sales

Erhm…. so long, eBay. Craigslist it is.

  

Continue Reading...

As usual, I have some links to share brought to you by the bookmarking site, del.icio.us.  See, when I go to a site that I like, I can click a button on my browser and it opens a window where I can type a little commentary and it saves the link.  Then, at the end of the week, I export those links out and post them all here for you to enjoy.

I also have a new Nexterday News article up, a link to which you should find to your right, under where it says “Nexterday News.”  Newer articles are always listed first, so, it’s a safe bet the one on the top is new.  Just sayin’.

My goal is to write one story a week for that site.  I have 5 in the pipeline as of right now so I think that’s do-able.  But what does a guy gotta do to get some feedback on ‘em?  Right now I’m commenting on my own news stories (though I’m using a pen name, so only those astute detectives should be able to figure that out).

Also, the link is right here:

August 2nd, 2026 - ‘Seinfeld’ Remake Announced as Only Scripted Fall TV Show

I wrote this. It’s a follow-up story to the WGA strike resolution coverage of 2026.

 

Clive Thompson on Why Sci-Fi Is the Last Bastion of Philosophical Writing

“Science fiction is the last great literature of ideas,” he says. I know nobody likes a link to a heavy article, so I apologize for wasting your time with this link.

 

Scary movie Cloverfield making viewers sick - CNN.com

Bring your dramamine… I wish I did.

 

Dr. Laura’s Blog » Heath Ledger and Tragic Death

Once again, she’s got a point. Also, second to last paragraph…. isn’t that supposed to be hoo-RAH? I’m no marine, but I think so.

 

Alt Text: Tiptoeing Through the Minefield of Movie Spoilers

An etiquette for posting spoilers. Excellent. Spread this around.

 

Autopsy planned as actor Heath Ledger is mourned - CNN.com

He said that the Joker kept him up at night. Prescription sleep pills are the suspected cause of death. Did the Joker kill Heath?

 

Office Fantasy Video - Jake And Amir Dot Com

Their best video yet. If you don’t know them, this might not be as funny. But it’s still funny. So funny.

 

Little Black Girl & President Bush - The Daily Dish

You don’t have to read anything if you click this link… it’s a picture, and that’s all it really needs to be.

Continue Reading...

Two new articles from me this week!

The first one marks the first time since college I’ve been paid for something I wrote. Who pays? Not sure. It has something to do with cost-per-click, advertising, etc., but I got $3.33 up front for it, just to have it published, so that counts for something.

Why I Don’t Wash My Hands - Associated Content

It’s an editorial on germs and how people freak out about them. The more people who read it, the more I get paid.

The second article is for Nexterday News, which I spoke about last week… it’s the news service with a wire to the Associated Press of the future. This week’s article…

November 5th, 2072 – Toyota to Inaugurate First Robotic US President

“This can’t possibly go wrong,” says standing President.

*****

And now, other links I found interesting this week, brought to you by the social bookmarking site, del.icio.us.

  

Dr. Phil investigated by psychology board

“Dr. Phil” may have been a good doctor at one point, but now he’s just an ass.

  

Dr. Laura’s Blog » Happiness is NOT the Highest Value

I used to love Dr. Laura before I grew a brain of my own. The first part of this article kind of irritated me but by the end I at least saw her point and kind of agreed with her.

  

Matthew McConaughey: I’m Going To Be a Dad

“God bless evolution,” he says. Perhaps the wittiest, smartest thing ever said.

 

Charlize, Viggo Travel Cormac McCarthy’s Road

I’ve been meaning to pick up this book for a while now. I guess I should hurry up before this summer when it gets the famous “NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING CHARLIZE THERON!” cover makeover.

 

Kevin Federline: Our Problems Make People Feel Normal

Actually, he’s got a point.

 

Will Smith Recruits for Scientology

The last paragraph of this article sums it up for me: “I am not sure I totally believe this, mostly because I don’t WANT to believe it.”

 

Near-final Vista SP1 goes public

Microsoft is actually telling people not to install Vista Service Pack 1 on “mission critical” machines. Meaning: if you don’t have data to lose, don’t install it, because they have no idea if it’ll mess up your shit.

 

Found: Artifacts From the Future

Holy crap-o! Look at this windshield from the future.

 

A company promises 100 mile-per-gallon engine

I guess people were right about the Hybrid not being the answer. I guess Ill go for one of these when the time comes.

 

July 18th, 2026 - Original Programming Makes a Comeback

In case you missed the link last week, this is my first Nexterday article.

 

Continue Reading...

Every week around this time (or thereabouts) del.icio.us delivers these links to my blog on my behalf. They are links to news stories, articles, web sites, videos, or whatever I came across this past week that I wanted to share but felt wasn’t worthy enough to warrant a space on my ‘favorite links’ column to your right. Let me know if you find them as interesting as I did.

Teacher Beth Ann Chester admits to having sex with student

Wait a minute. Her name is Beth Ann CHESTER? As in, Chester the Child Molester? Chester is a FEMALE?! That’s hilarious. Funny how in most cases like these, the “predator” is female.  When was the last time you heard of a male teacher getting into trouble?

 

Healthy Habits Can Mean 14 Extra Years

“Health” stories like this make me angry. You can live an extra 14 years of life, as opposed to what? What if I’m already healthy? I don’t get the extra 14 years?

 

The 50 Most Loathsome People in America

You made the list. (#9)

 

Q&A: Author Nicholas Carr on the Terrifying Future of Computing

The answers to the last three questions are scary.

 

In Blu-ray Coup, Sony Has Opening But Hurdles, Too - WSJ.com

Poor HD-DVD. If Microsoft had put HD-DVD in the Xbox, maybe HD-DVD would have won out. Thanks to Sony, Blu-ray appears to be the winner. Now, once the price comes down, I know which next-gen format I should be getting.

 

Why We Write - by Damon Lindelof

Damon speaks the truth: “I write because if I didn’t, I’d be branded a pathological liar.”

 

E! News - Actors Won’t Circle the Globes

Solidarity makes me proud.

 

MySpace.com - Jana - 21 - Female - WHITEHOUSE, Texas

This is the girl who died only to have her boyfriend EAT HER.

 

Texas man calls 911, says he’s eating girlfriend - USATODAY.com

Gross. Gross gross gross. This is the kind of stuff I have nightmares about.

 

}-{ello my future girlfriend

Will YOU be this kid’s future girlfriend?

Continue Reading...

Every week around this time del.icio.us delivers these links to my blog on my behalf. They are links to articles, web sites, videos, or whatever I came across this past week that I wanted to share but felt wasn’t worthy enough to warrant a space on my ‘favorite links’ column to your right. Let me know if you find them as interesting as I did.

 

How to Make Eggnog - wikiHow

I love eggnog, but… is it really just eggs, milk, and cream? Cuz that’s kinda gross.

Missing Ludington man has NMU ties

Went to school with him, I think. I’m Facebook-friends with one of his friends. How do people just go missing?

Teens charged in ‘Mortal Kombat’ killing

Don’t get me wrong… this is horrible. But Mortal Kombat will be blamed, and that’s not fair. The kids are just crazy, and I’m sure they imitated “moves” from Mario Kart, too.

Apple lawsuit: ThinkSecret.com shutting down

Apple sues a website and they “mutually” agree to be shut down. Hmmm. Bad Apple.

The Chappelle Theory - What really happened to Dave Chappelle and his show.

Wow. Could this be true? I’d believe it. Read this when you have some time.

Hello, I’m a Mac. And I’m a Cheapskate.

Mac users are more likely than PC users to pay for music downloads. Methinks it’s because if you can afford a Mac, you can afford a .99 cent song? What are your thoughts?

NewsTimes.com - Danbury mall Santa claims woman sexually assaulted him

Do you ever wonder when stuff like this happens? As in, what time of day? For example, when you’re driving to work, half way across the country, Santa is being felt up and is not enjoying it.

Will moviegoers buy ‘Charlie Wilson’s War’?

I’ll tell you right now: NO. Star power + current events = flop. FLOP FLOP FLOP.

Britney’s Teen Sister Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnant

Part of me thinks she did this just to add to the now infamous family name. This is the first and last time I will bring this up.

Amie Street - Music Lives Here - Independent Music Download Website

Pay-for-music site, except you pay what it’s worth (even free). Discover new music.

America’s Best Young Entrepreneurs

Get some ideas from these guys.

Y: The Last Man (Complete Issue #1 - LEGAL!)

Y: The Last Man, one of my favorite comic series, is coming to an end next month and this is the first issue. One of my favorite comic series by Lost writer Brian K. Vaughn. Good story, easy to follow. I’ve posted this link everywhere.

Continue Reading...